Monday, January 3, 2011

Don't Worry, I'll Be Fine

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I could definitely live without pretty much anything that is non-essential to my physical functioning (food, water, etc.) and general well being (clothes, shelter, etc.). Seriously. I have no doubt in my mind that if I was for some reason dumped in the wilderness, I wouldn't curl up next to a rock and cry until something ate me or I died of starvation. I would figure it out, do what I needed to do, and survive by whatever means necessary.
There are a lot of things I would certainly prefer not to go without (a modicum of safety, comfort, internet, cellphone, bla bla), but I'm sure I could get by without those. I'm really just typing my thoughts out loud here.
You know what I could certainly live without that I don't even want to think about giving up because it makes me feel squirmy?

Social networking. Text messaging. These two things have ruined me for phone conversations, which I already hated, and fed into my predisposition for avoiding social interaction. Thanks to the miracle of facespace, twatter, whatever, if I want to know what is going on in someone's life I can simply click clack my way around and cyberstalk them. Ta-da. No more "Uhhhhh hiiii.........................How are you?..................GreatwellIwasjustwonderinghowyouarebutIhaveto Go. Now. Awesome. OkayyyyYeptakecareKbye." <--This is roughly what I used to sound like on the phone, after agonizing forever about whether or not I would be bothering the person by calling them, unless I decided that if they wanted to talk to me, they would call me themselves and didn't call at all. Then I would hang up and think, "Jesus, weirdo, really?" Thankfully, now I don't really care if I am bothering someone by calling them or not. I figure if I am, the worst thing that is going to happen is they are going to tell me so, or if they are a real asshole, they might even yell at me about it or hang up on me. Oh, Horrors. If you're busy, don't answer your phone, yeah? When I think about what it is I am actually getting freaked out by and re-frame it in reality, it sounds pretty ridiculous. I'm not going to burst into flames if someone raises their voice. OoooOooOooh!

Twitter seems to encourage people to think people give a shit what their every thought is.

They don't.

Just saying. I swore I would never have a Twitter account. When it first became popular, I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard of. I held out until a month or two ago, and now I have one. [insert melodramatic sigh here]

I don't understand this type of Twitter update: Leaving the grocery store.
...and then your car blew up? What the fuck? People that update every time they do ANYTHING, EVER give me irritable bowel. Yes, twittards, you're so annoying that my intestines are irritated by you.
My favorites are people sharing their observations of the world around them: If you look closely you'll notice that trees are covered with a whole mess of wooden vaginas.
And this little kid's twitter makes me laugh my ass off: (to his mom) I'm going to give you shaken baby syndrome.

 I was talking to someone the other night that said she thought it was creepy when people read her facebook comment conversations. That's kind of like taking your clothes off in the street and thinking it is creepy if people look. Seriously, what did you expect? She was like, "Oh my God, seriously, is that what you do with yourself, read other people's facebook conversations?" ...Uh, yes. That is what plenty of people do with themselves. That is why it is a public wall. You don't want people to see you naked, go inside to take your clothes off. Problem solved.


  1. Hmm... I have a twitter account but I don't use it. I suppose I would if I had my mobile connected, but I don't. It seems like it's just a fun thing to do to kill time when you have a free moment.

    facebook, on the other hand, I would probably die without. It seems like I never see real people outside of work and school anymore, so staying in touch with those few cool people that make me smile happens through facebook.

    But there is also a part of me that wishes I lived in the woods like survivor-man and never felt compelled to stay connected. I have grown weary of spending my evenings on the internet, in front of the computer, which is in front of the television which is also connected to the internet...

    On second thought, that's probably just the cabin fever talking. I'm ready for it to be spring. :)

  2. Hey sweetie pie! I love your twisted and random thoughts--they make me feel completely normal--just like you!! PS: Your grandfather once told me that one sign of a mature person is the ability to completely ignore a ringing telephone! Nuff said, eh? xo