Monday, October 25, 2010

Back Me into a Corner and I'll Break Your Neck in One Swift Move

Being a dominatrix has to be incredibly cathartic.

Just saying.

Seriously, think about that. You get paid however many hundreds or thousands of dollars to make someone do whatever you tell them to do, bind/gag/torture them, and humiliate them. They pay you to treat them like shit, and they're saying, "Thank you, Mistress," or whatever. Talk about a power trip.

I'm picturing a leather clad chick letting some goofy, naked executive off of a leash and taking a ball gag out of his mouth.

Yes, this is what I'm thinking about on Monday evening. Dancing With the Stars wasn't holding my attention.

Speaking of power- I have a bit of a hang-up about being in control. I know it isn't incredibly uncommon, a lot of people are control freaks. It's lively entertainment to get a bunch of them together in a small space and watch everyone vie for alpha. I don't like to be vulnerable, in the slightest bit. Ever. Of course, not liking it doesn't prevent me from ever being it, but we don't live in a perfect world. A perfect world would have a lot more swashbuckling, far fewer consequences, and I would be able to fly because magic would be real and probably there would be some glitter and badass velociraptors involved for good measure and we would have those fucking flying self-driving cars that assholes have been promising are coming "in the future" forever (or maybe I just took The Jetsons too seriously.) Maybe a little bit of economic stability, and, like, a government that isn't sodomizing its people and selling our country, but I know those last couple of things are seriously far-fetched.

My desire to control doesn't manifest itself like most other people. I am not bossy, and I rarely, if ever, come off as controlling. I make a conscious effort to not impose my will on other people, which has taken practice. (and also isn't as instantly gratifying, which is annoying) But I still think it really hard, like my brainwaves are going to have some sort of impact on their actions. I do tend to be the person that people come to for advice, so I get a bit of a free pass sometimes.

One of my friends was talking to me about "getting a little crazy" with her boyfriend this weekend. (No, not like that. I do write about non-sexual topics. Occasionally.) She was saying that she acted like a loony tune, which of course happens to the best of us. Unless you're being a shady mofo, most people's real issues and flaws come blasting out like a poorly timed, out of tune trumpet solo at some point in any relationship of depth. Unfortunately, sometimes this happens way earlier in the relationship than you intended. It's hard to gauge the reaction, too. If your behavior is nutty, and (s)he is accepting of that, it could mean (s)he's understanding and really cares about you. It could also mean that (s)he's a loosely covered quivering mass of insanity and dysfunction that hasn't dropped its cover yet, and when it does, it's going to blow, and you should definitely be wearing protective gear. My advice? Tread lightly and get a poncho.

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