How to alienate your date

I am SO. TIRED. And not like regular tired. Like, I just ran a marathon and single handedly saved the world from evil and solved the economic crisis while giving birth to a baby that will grow up to develop a cure for AIDS and also I'm an amputee, so I did all of that with one hand. Excessive exercise and one-handed heroics with a baby genius wriggling out of my twat. Exhausting.

I decided I have the plague, and since I am always selflessly looking out for others, further concluded that I should be quarantined. And put on bed rest. I'm a doctor. A traveling physician, as a matter of fact. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might make sense if you read this).

That lasted about ten minutes. See? I'm so good at what I do, I cured myself inside of a half an hour. Also, I think I was having an allergic reaction to sitting still. My health is so precarious these days.

In the Halloween spirit, I have a scary story to share. I went out to dinner with someone last night. I don't really date people that I don't already know. At all, ever. This was a good reminder why.