Crumbs are not satisfying; mealtime is not sexytime

It just occurred to me that my fear response seems to be installed improperly. Well, maybe it was installed correctly but is malfunctioning.
In my last relationship, I remember my partner saying, "I feel so safe with you," repeatedly. I felt the same way. For absolutely no good reason. Actually, despite mounting evidence that I should probably be grabbing my shit and running for the hills (out of my own house, no less), my brain still kept saying, "You love her. Stay."  I would get blindsided by something that really hurt my feelings, time after time, have a moment of clarity that our relational patterns were twisted, and then get interrupted by my own brain. No, no. You should stay. Y'all love each other.